Back to reality :/.

Played a couple of sessions over the last couple of days.  Not really many hours or hands though unfortunately.  I'm getting a little annoyed now, as I really thought I was motivated and ready to do well this year.  Obviously it's still early so plenty of time to make good.  I'm still struggling to understand why I could grind 12hours+ online when playing MTTs and struggle to get 90mins of cash.

I tilted for the first time in a fairly long time tonight after some pretty disturbing hands.  I guy cold called my 3bet from the SB with 23o and flopped 2 pair on 923 board.  A few stupid hands happened and I started to tilt then proceeded to lose more.  I'm unsure if the origin of the tilt was from the beats or from external factors.  My gut tells me it's the latter.  I felt agitated pretty much from the outset and it's been like this ever since I moved house (October last year). 

I finished off 2010 learning 6max nlhe cash games.  I got some experience with not to terrible results and felt much more confident in my game.  2011 is hopefully going to be a good year where I make huge strides into playing this game for a living.  I really need to treat the game more like a profession though.  Maybe I should buy "Treat your poker like a business"?  Since I moved I have not bothered to set up my desktop or any sort of workspace for myself.  I'm currently grinding on the sofa with a laptop, surrounded by a whole host of distractions, which is obviously not good for my concentration.  I think part of the reasons I can't play as long sessions when playing cash compared to MTTs is that cash takes up more concentration and effort.  I definitely need to sort myself somewhere in the house to grind, which is away from any TV and people.  Hopefully need a little run good so I can buy a decent chair and two 24inch monitors too for my new office :).  The chair and monitor's would be nice but w/e they will come in time.  The grinding space however is a necessity.  I am definitely going to get this sorted in the coming weeks.

I really believe if I was more comfortable and in the mood to play tilt would not of occurred tonight.  the night did turn out OK though thanks to my degeneracy :/.  After dropping some serious $ (relative to the stakes I'm playing) at $20 and $50nl I sat in two £100nl games and managed to end the night with profit.  As soon as I closed down the session though I realised what a stupid move that was.  It also made me realise how far I have got to go in many aspects of the game before I can be successful.  I will insert today's graph for the lolz :blushing:

:(

I feel a lot of the blog lately is negative, which I don't want.  When I started the blog I didn't want to only post when I was running good and crushing the games like a lot of people do.  Nevertheless I did not want it to be a blog about how terrible everything is, so I would like to end on a positive note.

Me and a buddy have been choosing 3-5 hands at the end of each of our sessions and spending 30mins - 1 hour discussing them.  We give detailed reads and stats and talk about each street, the math alternative lines and much more.  My buddy is a 100nl regular as well as an MTT player.  We met at UKIPT Edinburgh last year and have kept in touch daily ever since.  These discussions at the end of our play have helped me a ton.  Even he has told me he gets a bunch out of the sessions to, which is good to know its not only one way.  This is something I intend to carry on and recommend everybody to give it a shot.  having someone else critique your game is great.  Also if it's a close buddy you are satisfied they wont pull any punches, which may hurt your ego but will help your game much more in the long run

Wow this turned out so much longer than I thought it would.  I'm not going to re read it as I will most likely delete a bunch of it, which I don't really want to do.  Although this is a fairly low point for me I am happy I have talked about it here.  Today has brought me back down a peg or two as they say but I feel now its out there I can move forward.